Some time ago, my good friend Poppy alerted me to a certain Whovian-themed cookbook that was $1.99 that day on Kindle. With a name like Dining With the Doctor, how could I refuse? I bought it, and almost immediately, my then-11 year old snatched it away from me. The only person in this house who is a bigger Whovian than I am is Lotus.
She spent the next 10 months with her nose buried in that cookbook. She giggled. She lip smacked. She dreamed.
And so when time came to start prepping for her 12th birthday extravaganza, she had a menu and shopping list already written, itemized, and alphabetized.
“We’re having a Whovian birthday!!!!” she squeed, jumping and clapping her hands in that way tweenaged girls do when they’re really excited about something.
I looked over the list. It was….extensive. And contained exotic and obscure ingredients like “edible silver spray paint”.
She assured me such a thing existed, and was readily available at Michael’s, but I had my doubts.
We acquired most of the ingredients (minus the edible silver spray paint- shocker!) and she and I spent most of her birthday cooking. Which was exactly how she liked it.
For breakfast, we had “Extermination loaf”, which was baguette sliced, spread with a cinnamon sugar butter mixture, then toasted and decorated to look like everyone’s favorite xenophobic psychopaths, the Daleks:
Ok, I’m not going to lie. These were delicious. Even if they did have Q-Tips in them to simulate antennae. Hot baguette smeared with cinnamon sugar butter? Racial purity never tasted so good.
The second breakfast dish was in honor of possibly the only time I ever liked the Eleventh Doctor:
Seriously, how can I emotionally attach myself to someone who doesn’t like bacon?
Anyway, Lotus and I whipped up a more palatable version of fish fingers and custard:
French toast sticks and maple whipped cream. The cream was supposed to be dyed yellow to make it look more custardy, but we discovered that John-Luke had, at some point, stole the bottle of yellow food dye and drank it in his bed.
Lunch was even better. In honor of Old Dalek Ironsides, we made openfaced Dalek Ironsides sandwiches.
I think she nailed it:
Then we went to Tadpole Pond for the kids to go swimming, and they had so much fun that we didn’t get home in time to make the SIX dishes Lotus had planned for dinner. Yes. Six. It was her vision to make a Whovian buffet, then sit around and watch Doctor Who episodes for the rest of the night. but since we didn’t roll in from the pond until 6:30 or so, we had to do an abbreviated menu.
First up, an homage to the Doctor’s Hand:
Ok, yeah, I know. Not the best looking hot dog-and-cheese-wrapped-in-crescent-roll-hand you’ve ever seen, but in my defense, by this time, I was tired. I’d been up since three, thanks to a certain child we shall not name but who has a habit of sneaking into the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning and doing things like drinking food dye. We’d had a lot of carbs. It was almost 7. I was weary. But there it is- the Doctor’s hand.
Lotus, however, was in charge of the Ood plate, and she nailed it:
I really think this was the shining star of all the foods.
But what about the cake? You may well ask. Right. The cake. The cake actually ended up being the easiest of all the things to make. Lotus wanted frosted brownies, and even let me get away with a box brownie mix AND canned frosting, so it was like freaking vacation around here. As for the design. Well, let me first show you this:
And now, I reveal the cake:
And there it was. Lotus’ dream Whovian birthday, which could have only been better had David Tennant himself showed up to sing her “Happy Birthday”. All recipes except the Cassandra cake were found in the quirky and entertaining Dining With the Doctor, which is a fun read, even if you never expect to put together a Whovian birthday.