|Ken tallies up the damages.|
Well, it happened. We started back-to-school shopping. This week is Connecticut’s “tax-free” week, and Ken said that Target had put its school supplies on sale, so we decided to load up the van, and load up on pencils and such.
I didn’t want to. I like to wait for a week or two after the local schools have started up again, then clean up in the clearance aisle. Seriously. If you can wait two weeks, Target puts its reams of paper on clearance for, like, a quarter. And pencils are fifty cents a box. It’s ridonculous. They practically give away the off-brand crayons and markers for free.
We got home, I half-heartedly organized the supplies, and watched, fascinated and horrified, as it happened- the kids started slowly circling me, like sharks scenting blood in the water.
It was The Jude, surprizingly, who asked first. The Jude, who up until that point, had burst into tears every time a parent told him gently but firmly that yes, he did in fact have to participate in Kindergarten this year.
“Can I do some school?” he looked at me with his huge hazel eyes. I sighed deeply and dramatically.
|Honestly, you try and say no to those eyes.|
“But we don’t have to start school yet,” I reminded him. ”We don’t have to start school until two days after your birthday.”
He didn’t care. I sighed again, printed out a math sheet for him to do, and firmly went back to ignoring the other kids who were eyeballing me.
Too late. Once they saw schoolin’ going on, they were all up on me like white on rice.
“Can I do math?”
“How about some reading?”
“Oh! Look at this DVD on shark biology I just found! Can we do science?”
Ugh. Who are these children? Go away! Go play by the pond. Go chase chickens. Go ride your bike or walk the dog or climb a tree or build a fort. What the heck is wrong with you?
But, because motherhood is full of profound sacrifices, I gave them what they wanted. I printed up multiplication drill sheets and passed out critical thinking workbooks and hauled out marine biology picture books.
All because of those darn school supplies, yo. They’re seriously like crack.