Have you seen this at home pedicure recipe that’s burning up Pinterest?
It involves shaving cream and mouthwash, which sounds like inappropriate uses for said items, but it promised to take a layer of dead skin off my feet (so much that you’re warned to only do it once a week, since it’ll make your feet so sore).
Since I have a little-known condition clinically known as “not feet but hooves”-ism, I’m always on the lookout for new ways to make my feet a little less equine, without having to involve the Koreans from Tiffany’s Nails down the street, since every time I go there for a pedicure I have to endure a solid 40 minutes of verbal abuse heaped upon my hooves.
My hooves don’t care. They’re tough. But I’m a sensitive sort, and shudders of disgust transcend language. You’re not fooling me by speaking in Korean- I know you’re complaining about pulling the short straw and being the one chosen to perform farrier duties today.
(note: Micaela and/or Roxy, could you please find out how to say “Sorry about my hooves” in Korean for me? Thanks)
So Saturday night, Ken and I tried out the home pedicure action after the kids were in bed.
Ok, so first of all, you’re supposed to put shaving cream all over your feet, then soak a towel in a 50/50 water-and-mouthwash solution, which you then wrap around your foamy hooves.
This immediately presented problems, since we opted to do the pedicure in the bedroom, which is the only air conditioned room in the house. So now we had to find a way to still be able to sprawl out in front of the cool air but not soak the comforter in a solution that was quickly beginning to smell like something out of a nursing home.
In fact, all the pictures I took from the actual process were rendered unusable because of poor lighting quality, and what I suspect is shaving cream on the lens.
So we sat there for 30 minutes in a menthol haze, then unwrapped the towels, hoping to see skin scraping right off like the article promises.
Nothing. Not a dang difference. My feet were softer, but no softer than they would have been after wrapping them in a wet towel for 30 minutes.
I was really kind of sad, since now my bedroom smelled badly enough that I considered cracking a window, thus letting all my icy air escape into the night, and my feet were still not recognizable as such.
I really think someone needs to invent a Snopes strictly for debunking Pinterest myths like this one.
At the end of the day, the only two things that have ever been able to give me even close to Tiffany’s Nails results are these two things right here:
and a lot of elbow grease.
So I’ll give the remaining can of shaving cream to the kids so they can go spray beards on each other’s faces, keep the mouthwash, and dream of a day when someone invents a lotion that will help hooved people like me.
I already know what to name it: