We went to the library today. But we went ill-equiped, because the umbrella stroller I’d assumed was still in the van was not.

So this meant that in the space of 15 minutes, free-range Jude did the following:

  1. tore through the library shrieking like a maniac- but a joyful maniac
  2. removed both shoes somewhere between the F and I Fiction stacks
  3. flung all the baby dolls out of their cribs in the play area, and proceeded to crawl into the newly vacated doll crib
  4. yelled for his sister to cover him up with doll blankets in the doll crib
  5. escaped the children’s wing of the library, making it within 5 feet of fresh parking lot air before being caught- this escape prompted one of the librarians to announce, oh-so-calmly to the entirety of the children’s wing, “A child dressed in green has left the children’s library and is running down the hallway. He is not wearing shoes.”
  6. was escorted out of the library slung over the left shoulder of his mother, like a sack of potatoes, all the while screaming, “Bye bye babies!” to the babies whose crib he had stolen

This is why we go to the library once every few months. I’d much rather pay fines than suffer the humiliation of Jude.

Be a priest Jude, be a priest.


  1. says

    Solution….Lock “Free Range Jude” in a room,and play Lynard Skynrd’s Freebird on a continous loop for several hours.Result.Submission to your will,or no change,other than him loving Lynard Skynrd.

  2. says

    Dad, that’s funny- “Freebird” is one of my favorite songs. Every time it comes on the radio in the car, I crank it up.
    Jude is unaffected.
    However, he does *really* dig “Judy Blue Eyes” by Crosby, Stills and Nash. He will sing the “doo do do do doo”s at the top of his lungs.

  3. says

    Jude sounds adorable to this grandma !! He sounds almost too much for an umbrella stroller to contain :) I love hearing all your tales of motherhood !!

  4. says

    He is a bit much to try and contain. The library might not be his best environment. A priest??? I think not. Maybe a major league umpire with that set of lungs he has! And he could occasionally get to throw things too :)

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